New Month

I am so glad June is over, for a variety of reasons.  Various occurrences have kept me mum; I haven't wanted to see/hear the news nor have any contact with people other than those closest to me.  I can't keep my head in the sand forever.  That being said, I am finally 'here'.  

As far as everything medically is concerned, I am still trying to deal with the Medtronic failure situation.  I thought I was getting by okay, however, the actual implant is becoming extremely uncomfortable.  I unfortunately KNOW (chronic) pain, and this isn't pain so much as it is a major annoyance:  the battery continues to protrude more and more from my abdomen.  I feel like Sigourney Weaver from the movie 'Alien' - in my case, I keep waiting for this piece of electronic junk to rip through my skin, out of my stomach.  Dramatic, yes; possible, yes.  I just want it out!  Is this what women in the last days of pregnancy feel like?  Yuck.

I did meet with a new pain specialist doctor who confirmed that the battery has in fact expired.   Previously  my spouse and I traveled 141 miles round trip, to the doctor who implanted the medical device only to find that he couldn't work the monitoring device and opted not to have a Medtronic representative present for my appointment.  The doctor further stated that the other patient had cancelled, so 'he decided not to have the [Medtronic] rep. come in').  Gee, thanks.  Next, he asked me to come back in two days (another 140 miles) following a blatant insult regarding the myocardial infarction I previously suffered.  I have no problem traveling for competent health care, but there was no way I was going back to him.  An office staff member at the new doctor office was able to operate/read the monitoring device.  What a joke that my former doctor couldn't do the same; what a worthless 'pain management' physician.

Decisions, decisions.  I am so sick of hospitals and surgeries.  It could be worse though.  It easily could be worse, and that is what I remind myself every time the 'alien' causes me discomfort or I feel frustrated about the medical device failure.

Medtronic Failure

I feel I would not be a responsible patient if I did not comment regarding the recent failure(s) by Medtronic and the spinal cord stimulator I received in 2008. My spinal cord implant had been an overall happy story until a few weeks ago (less the physician form the get go). I should have listened to my instincts and at least switched to a new physician (I almost cancelled the surgery the day of, even after already receiving the I.V. I began having problems with the medical device (it had protruded); giving me the worst stinging/burning sensation at the implantation site. My 'pain specialist' doctor and Medtronic have not been helpful - they have been the complete opposite. It's as though they consider me an enemy and could care less now that the Medtronic implant is in (though failing). In addition to the shifting of the device, the battery has failed. It hasn't even been two years. I cannot impress upon others considering this life changing event to thoroughly research before going through with the surgery. I was utterly desperate after living with chronic pain for years - I would have done it differently had I known what I am experiencing now. I also had a blood clot form in my heart within three months of my surgery, thus suffering a myocardial infarction, of which I am lucky to be alive.  I am hopeful that my situation stems from an irresponsible physician and Medtronic representative. I truly hope that all who have the devices already implanted have continued success.

Despise Medtronic

I've stopped crying now.  I am sick of hospitals!! & surgeries I can't imagine another surgery - talk about flashbacks and freaking out.  Medtronic medical device is off indefinitely until I get a response from someone who can explain 'wth' went wrong.

Mud

Wow, I demonstrated shocking restraint tonight.  Trader Joe's hasn't carried their Mud Pie in forever.  Of course I was able to spy it immediately.  I honestly walked around the store, continuing to shop, debating in my head about buying it.  I knew if I bought it, it would be gone by the time the weekend is over - I am that bad (no self control).  I never even knew what Mud Pie was until a few years ago - my mom was a health freak with me in my younger years and my dad was a healthy food control freak.  I thought I had discovered this fantastic dessert that you could only get at one restaurant (duh, I have my um, moments).  Oh, how I wish this were true, however as most people know, Mud Pie is everywhere!!!  Long story short, I don't know if I was saved-by-the-bell (the store was closing) or I actually exercised (no pun intended) a little self control for once, but I didn't buy the Mud Pie.  It is still haunting me right now, but I am sharing this with the "world" to keep myself in check - and because I should be a little proud, right?  I mean, Mud Pie to me is eat-in-a-dark-corner-by-myself-good.  I digress; I did buy a substitute to sooth my Mud Pie fervor:  Trader Joe's Gluten Free Brownie Baking Mix (previous link is from BakingBites.com).   I'm curious to see how it turns out.  I've been trying more gluten free items of late.  It seems the girl who can and will eat anything, finally can't (blessing in disguise?).  As I type this I'm realizing I hope my mother doesn't read this - she is convinced I have Celiac Disease (and that there is a correlation between it and the blood clot that lead to my heart attack).

that rock

Where my health is concerned, I've had a solid week of feeling like Sisyphus (thus, the reason for "hybernating" from the world).  I've been doing my best to not let my imagination get the better of me.  Maybe things aren't even as bad as they feel, however, collectively I feel like I am in my twelfth round of a boxing match, having already been knocked out.