My heart was really hurting last night. My chest cavity {heart} was sore for several hours late into the night/early morning. For a while I had what felt like an almost burning feeling strictly in my heart. My heart felt very heavy. I took an aspirin and it felt better (great?). I am anxious to go to my cardiology appointment.
I hate feeling (the) arrhythmia; I don't think I'll ever get used to it and wish it would cease. I don't mean to sound negative, I simply get tired of having my body feel fragile; like there are butterflies inside my chest; like I could break apart.
Speaking of breaking apart, I am very frustrated. I just found out that apparently my father was diagnosed with arrhythmia in his thirties. It would have been nice to have known this when I had my heart attack/myocardial infarction or maybe, perhaps, before!? Adoptive parents are looking better and better. Is that possible still?! I am trying to have a sense of humor about what I perceive as selfishness/sheer parental failure. Certainly, if pertinent medical information isn't going to be disclosed with your child(ren), what kind of a "loving" and "selfless" parent can you claim to be? As I said, is there adoption for thirty-something's? Only kidding, I'd much rather carry on with my life (full medical disclosure on my father's part would have been ideal since I wasn't left on a door step for nun's to raise!).
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